The First Ride

He took his written test last week and missed it by 1. He took it, again, yesterday and passed it by 5. Now, my 15-year-old, Jonah, has his permit.

The ride home was pretty scary to say the least. We took off with a jerk and a jerk aannnd a JERK. He looked very nervous and I'm sure I did too. He kept driving so close to the shoulder, I was worried the loose dirt might pull us into the ditch, but I guess HE was more scared of the centerline. 

The worst part of all, believe it or not, wasn't him slamming on the brakes and barely making the stop sign, it wasn't even when he was gonna make a right turn onto the highway and made such a WIDE turn we ended up in the OTHER LANE (thank goodness there were no oncoming cars). The WORST part was when I told him to get into his lane and in his confusion he said, "Wait, which lane??" Um yeah, wanna see someone speechless - only I had to collect myself quickly so we didn't DIE! 

After a few more times of racing up to turns and then turning way to wide, we did make it home. 

Onto his second drive, which was today. After a few minutes I felt pain in my right hand. I looked over and, no lie, my hand was gripping the handle so tight that my knuckles were white! Guess I had flashbacks of the day before. But, to my surprise, he actually did pretty well, except when he ran over the squirrel. That's right, Jonah's second time driving and he ran over and killed a squirrel. I saw him run up and then I heard thump, thump...... thump under the Durango. Jimmer said we should have brought it home and stuffed it... Jonah's first road kill - hahaa.  

Well, only 3 more FIRST rides to go. The first ride with Micah was pretty terrifying as well, but they catch on quick and then they're better drivers than me. But, that first ride.... there's just nothing like that first ride.

'Time' Stole My Child

Staring out my window 
I'm reminded of a time,

a time of diapers, bottles and lullabies.

I loved your pudgy fingers 
and kissing your chubby cheeks.

Everything I did, 
I had a little shadow at my feet.

It seemed it would be this way forever,

as my life felt so complete.

I loved your little clothes 
and loved the way you smelled.

I treasured holding you in my arms,

comforting you 
as you comforted me.

Christmas's and Easters' were so amazing

with my tiny child's excitement filling the house.

I cling to thoughts of all your firsts...

your first tooth, 
first tooth lost,

riding a bike, 
learning to walk.

I cherished taking you to the zoo, 
the park and the beach

and watching your excited, carefree spirit,
introducing you to new things.

Now staring out my window 
and watching the clouds slowly drift by,

I hear the tick tock of the clock,

and time is passing by.

And just when I thought 
I'd always have a child with me...

time swept in, 
like the wind,

and stole my child from me.

As time goes on 
it will take with it all,

5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1,

leaving me without any children at all.

I'm happy for the man you are,

so proud of who you've become, 

but everywhere I look,

I see fragments of my little boy,

and it all seems like a colorful dream.

I love my beautiful family -

Micah

Jonah

Jude

Gabriel

Asher

This isn't meant to sound dark and hopeless, it's just one take on the concept of TIME and is how I'm feeling today. In this writing TIME is a robber, a stealer of good things. But, TIME has also brought about an amazing man (my 18yr. old son, Micah) for me to enjoy and will bring to me 4 more. But, then that too will pass, and I'll probably find myself writing again when I'm an old woman - haha. One thing is for sure... TIME goes fast, we need to enjoy the precious moments we are given because it's only for a season.