Disaster Weekend

 Have you ever had one of those days when everything goes wrong? Well, I had an entire weekend! Join me for a recount of Nicki's 'It's A Wonderful Life'....

FRIDAY...


1. All ready for my 'yearly physical', I waited a month to get, just walking out the door when the clinic calls to cancel and reschedule. Grrr. I could have slept in!

2.  The tax software I paid $50.00 for is corrupt, and now my taxes are ALL messed up, have to bring them in - spend $100.00 more to try to get them fixed. Grrr.

3. Dog chews up 2 dirt bike helmets.


4. Dog chews up something full of cotton because it's all over the yard.

SATURDAY......

1. Work, which is a bad enough weekend in and of itself - even without any mishaps.

2. Drive 25 miles (one way) to buy trampoline from a 'Craigslist want ad' I posted. When I get there it was already sold. Grrr.

3. Get home from 50 mile, useless, drive to find another voicemail answering a different 'want ad' I posted about horse fence panels. Would you believe it was from the same place I JUST LEFT!

4. Back on road to buy horse panels. The guy assures me they will fit on luggage rack on top of my Durango. He and his friend load them up. They hang, like, 4 ft. off the front and back! I hear… snap! SNAP! HE HAS BROKEN MY LUGGAGE RACK! Now I have to borrow a trailer and come, AGAIN, tomorrow.

5. Get home. The kids are starving so I spend an hour cooking dinner.

6. Something stinks! I take out garbage, realize something leaked out of the bag, after I step in a STINKY puddle of goo! Gross!

7. Before I am able to clean it up… Micah steps in the stinky puddle of goo.

8. Jonah steps in the stinky puddle of goo.

9. Asher does a does a major WIPE-OUT in the stinky puddle of goo.

10. After my terrible day I have to clean up the stinky puddle of goo. Gross!

SUNDAY...

1. Up at 4:30 a.m. for another day at work.
 
2. Look in mirror in bathroom – see a BIG black spider on my NECK! Freak-out.

3. Hook-up for my lights doesn't work on my van. (I borrowed my friends 3 horse trailer to pick up horse panels) Guess I'll be going without lights/signals.

4. Stomach ache because trailer is weaving all over behind me and it's scary. Have to drive 50 mph the whole way there!

5. Have to park on road because I don't know how to back-up a trailer, which means we have to carry heavy duty fence panels all the way to the trailer.

6. I arrive as scheduled, but surprise, surprise, nobody is home! I have to haul the panels myself!

7. Pick up one of the, 16 foot, HEAVY DUTY fence panels, drag it all the way across the yard, down the driveway, and try hoisting it up into trailer.

8. They don’t fit! They’re too long! I can’t shut the door! GRRR!

9. Can’t find any rope, twine or bungie anywhere to tie the trailer door shut.

10. Unload the heavy panels at home in a friggin', freezin' WIND STORM.

11. Everyone is starving - cook dinner.

13. Dog eats whole pack of dinner rolls I had next to the grill - waiting to go on. GRR!

12. Dog throws-up on floor.

MONDAY...

1.  Awake thinking I really shouldn't have spent all that money on fence panels, all the gas driving there 3 TIMES, aannnd a broken luggage rack! Then...  I realize we forgot to go to our 'Financial Peace University' class last night that we paid $100.00 for! GRRRR! (as you can tell - I really need to be at THAT CLASS! lol)

2. Dog chews up 2 big swimming noodles in tiny peices all over the yard.

3. Jimmer informed me the trailer was weaving all over because the back tires on the van were flat, otherwise I would have had a nice ride.

The First Ride

He took his written test last week and missed it by 1. He took it, again, yesterday and passed it by 5. Now, my 15-year-old, Jonah, has his permit.

The ride home was pretty scary to say the least. We took off with a jerk and a jerk aannnd a JERK. He looked very nervous and I'm sure I did too. He kept driving so close to the shoulder, I was worried the loose dirt might pull us into the ditch, but I guess HE was more scared of the centerline. 

The worst part of all, believe it or not, wasn't him slamming on the brakes and barely making the stop sign, it wasn't even when he was gonna make a right turn onto the highway and made such a WIDE turn we ended up in the OTHER LANE (thank goodness there were no oncoming cars). The WORST part was when I told him to get into his lane and in his confusion he said, "Wait, which lane??" Um yeah, wanna see someone speechless - only I had to collect myself quickly so we didn't DIE! 

After a few more times of racing up to turns and then turning way to wide, we did make it home. 

Onto his second drive, which was today. After a few minutes I felt pain in my right hand. I looked over and, no lie, my hand was gripping the handle so tight that my knuckles were white! Guess I had flashbacks of the day before. But, to my surprise, he actually did pretty well, except when he ran over the squirrel. That's right, Jonah's second time driving and he ran over and killed a squirrel. I saw him run up and then I heard thump, thump...... thump under the Durango. Jimmer said we should have brought it home and stuffed it... Jonah's first road kill - hahaa.  

Well, only 3 more FIRST rides to go. The first ride with Micah was pretty terrifying as well, but they catch on quick and then they're better drivers than me. But, that first ride.... there's just nothing like that first ride.

'Time' Stole My Child

Staring out my window 
I'm reminded of a time,

a time of diapers, bottles and lullabies.

I loved your pudgy fingers 
and kissing your chubby cheeks.

Everything I did, 
I had a little shadow at my feet.

It seemed it would be this way forever,

as my life felt so complete.

I loved your little clothes 
and loved the way you smelled.

I treasured holding you in my arms,

comforting you 
as you comforted me.

Christmas's and Easters' were so amazing

with my tiny child's excitement filling the house.

I cling to thoughts of all your firsts...

your first tooth, 
first tooth lost,

riding a bike, 
learning to walk.

I cherished taking you to the zoo, 
the park and the beach

and watching your excited, carefree spirit,
introducing you to new things.

Now staring out my window 
and watching the clouds slowly drift by,

I hear the tick tock of the clock,

and time is passing by.

And just when I thought 
I'd always have a child with me...

time swept in, 
like the wind,

and stole my child from me.

As time goes on 
it will take with it all,

5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1,

leaving me without any children at all.

I'm happy for the man you are,

so proud of who you've become, 

but everywhere I look,

I see fragments of my little boy,

and it all seems like a colorful dream.

I love my beautiful family -

Micah

Jonah

Jude

Gabriel

Asher

This isn't meant to sound dark and hopeless, it's just one take on the concept of TIME and is how I'm feeling today. In this writing TIME is a robber, a stealer of good things. But, TIME has also brought about an amazing man (my 18yr. old son, Micah) for me to enjoy and will bring to me 4 more. But, then that too will pass, and I'll probably find myself writing again when I'm an old woman - haha. One thing is for sure... TIME goes fast, we need to enjoy the precious moments we are given because it's only for a season.

Starving

Blah, blah, blah...... I'm sure that's all Jimmer heard as I was nagging him for the nineteenth time last night about..... hmm, I don't even know what. However, as he sat calmly for quite sometime, I do recall him saying, "Would you stop, you look ridiculous right now". But, what I interpreted was, "Would you stop, you look like an ugly cow right now". (Ohhh... it sounds so funny now.) Anyway, the look he gave me the next morning when I told him he called me 'ugly' was one I was a little familiar with. It was a look of total confusion. After he proceeded to tell me he never said that and never would, he told me how sorry he was about last night. I thought, "He's sorry?!? For what?" But, hey, if he wanted to accept responsiblity who was I to stop him - lol. So I let him, and I acted like the innocent victim.

Yes, yes, I know I was giving women a bad name by acting like a crazy women. But, in my defense I would just like to say it's because I'm STARVING! Ok, maybe not literally, but at work we started this biggest looser contest and we're on teams and my team won't let me eat anything and I just really want some food!

Being on this diet has made me think of silly diets I've tried in the past, namely, high school. Let's see, there was the chocolate laxative diet, the saltine cracker diet, the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, the 'I'm not on a diet’ diet. WHAT?!? THAT is just to name a few. Fortunately, in all my experience, I have learned there are no shortcuts, which is good because now I won’t fall for the chewing gum diet, the vinegar diet and, even crazier, there really is, no lie,  a tapeworm diet and cotton ball diet! Google it - it's real! Nope, I know the only real way to lose weight is to reduce calories and exercise - UGG!

I love Jimmer for putting up with my quirkiness as I have to put up with his : )   Somehow it works for us and, after being together so long, what made us mad before is just funny when it happens now.

Calm Of The Storm

I had this amazing Birthday yesterday. My 15 yr. old son, Jonah, tossed me a hand written card and disappeared down the stairs. As I read it, I knew why. He wrote how much he appreciated me and how awesome and funny I was. He thanked me for working so hard to give all of them a nice home. Tears fell. I thought it was so sweet when he emailed me 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM' from school because he was thinking about me. My two little boys, Gabriel and Asher, bought me a Spongebob Squarepants blanket and pillow because they said I like Spongebob so much - haha how cute and touching. My 12 yr. old, Jude, made me a big cross on the computer and Micah, my artEEst, made me an amazing clay basket with all his creative talent in it. Jimmer left bath products on the counter for me before he left for work and came home with an ice cream cake and a SUPER funny movie, which I watched during my FOOT RUB! Seriously, I felt so loved, I couldn't have asked for anything better. It's funny how when you're a mother gifts are no longer important, except to give them away. And how that Spongebob blanket, those homemade cards, and that homemade clay basket are better than anything money could ever buy.

I wish I could freeze this moment in time as everything seems perfect and peaceful in my life right now. Because of this decaying world we live in, I know it can't always stay this way. Storms are imminent. We are either just entering one, in the middle of one or just getting out of one, but in every storm there is a calm. I feel like I'm in the perfect calm of the storm right now. I do see changes coming and, I guess, I shouldn't fear it, but it's hard not to when everything feels so right the way it is. My son, Micah, will turn 18 in a few weeks. His plans are to be with us through the summer and then go into the Air Force. I am so proud of him, but terrified at the same time. I knew the day would come when he would grow up and move away........ no, honestly, I guess I thought it would be like this forever. My mind couldn't fathom the day that my kids would grow into adults. Now, I can see it around the corner and I wonder, "How did this happen? Why is everything going so fast?"

I know there's no stopping it so I'll just have to try to enjoy the ride. In every storm to come I'll be anticipating that perfect calm again......... and will never forget this one or the many before.

Missing Dad

Maybe it's the time of year that makes me think of him daily and miss him even more than usual, after all, Christmas was dad's favorite time of the year. I wait, earnestly, for the day I get to see him again. It will be an amazing day because it will be the day I get to see Jesus too.


I was just reading a tribute I wrote about my dad four years ago just a couple days after he died and it goes like this.............

  
My dad was the most thoughtful, loving, caring, generous man I have ever known. His heart was bigger than the sun. There was nothing he wouldn't do for those he loved. 

     

I have always known my dad was brave, strong, determined and very courageous, but I never knew how much until after his aneurysm nine years ago. He proved the doctors wrong when he worked hard and became a strong healthy man again. Even though he lived the last nine years in a body that only worked half way, he NEVER complained and it didn't stop him from accomplishing so many things. My dad has been a true inspiration to me and so many others. 

     

For someone who said he couldn't talk, he sure got his point across well. We would talk for hours and so would many others. He even led people to the Lord! Praise God! He could hardly speak, yet, he was leading people to God. That is a miracle!

     

I have watched my dad's relationship with the Lord grow so strong these past nine years. God was always by his side and always knew what he was saying. My dad found great comfort in the Lord. In the end, when my dad became very confused, I noticed he never once forgot to pray before he ate. My dad was always praying. In the end, he prayed not for himself, but for his family to be okay through all of this. He was always thinking of his family.

    

This picture of my dad was taken driving to his last radiation treatment. I arrived to his house that morning to find him sore and exhausted, his hair coming out by the handfuls. Yet, as you can see, he never let it get him down. We joked about his hair on the way, and I said I had to get a picture, he laughed and gave me a huge smile. He was never angry about the cancer; it seemed to make him praise God even more. He said he was thankful to God for giving him nine borrowed years to get to see all his grandchildren and make memories with them. He went to be with the Lord two weeks after this picture was taken.

    

We are so happy for him now. He has a new body and is sooo happy, but we will miss him terribly. We will miss his great sense of humor and we will, especially, miss hearing him say his catch phrase:  "Ooohhh, well!"

     

I would like to thank my mother for the loving care she gave my dad. She made the last nine years wonderful for him, and I will be forever grateful. She is truly an angel. My dad loved her so much. 

    

I will try every day to be just like my dad. He has changed the lives of so many and will continue to do so for years to come.

Thank you dad. I love you. 

Your daughter, 

Nicki 

The Art Of Riding

I have mastered the art of riding
by learning how to fall.

I have fallen on the concrete
and fallen in the grass;
there was even the time
I thought I broke my a##.

I've been closelined by a tree
and landed head first in the dirt
when my horse startled from a bee.

I've gone face first in the snow
when she slipped on ice;
making the time I fell off in the water
actually kind of nice.

Each of these experiences made me stop and think....
If I can't stay in the saddle...
If I can't land on my feet....
Tuck and roll is the answer that I seek.

haha - corny, I know. I wrote it in just a few minutes. Just sitting here thinking about all my follies riding horse. By the way, all those things really did happen to me and more. There were the times I got bucked off, the time my horse spooked and jumped and I went off the back, the time I got ran into a fence, and lets not forget about the head butting, biting and the numerous times I've been stepped on. Ohhhh, I LOVE horses!! haha - I really do! They're my favorite thing in the world besides my sons. The follies are remembered as funny and the good times are remembered as even better!